This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
