If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
