well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
