Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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