Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
