I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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