Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize