We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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