I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
