I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
