Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
