Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
