remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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