I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
