i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
