Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
