how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
