i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
