...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
