i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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