we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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