woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
