i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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