That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
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You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
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The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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