just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
