Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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