So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
