I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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