but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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