so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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