haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just found a bag of teeth...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
