I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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