thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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