how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
