So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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