It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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