You really coming over, don't trick.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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