You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
