i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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