His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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