So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize