Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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