You work out of a Hotel?
I just saw a hot homeless man
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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