P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
