my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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