You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
