We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
