drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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