You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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