oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
