Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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