Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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