The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
