Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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