Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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