Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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