Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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