I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
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and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
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Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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