I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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