yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
