I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize