we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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