So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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