ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
