based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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